On Motherhood Pt. 2
I was reading one of my favorite parenting blogs, hellobee, when I ran across this post called Reflections on Maternity Leave. Wow…I totally could have written this myself! This is exactly how I felt about maternity leave. For example:
Maternity leave, however, wasn’t anything I ever expected it to be. Before having the baby, I imagined leisurely strolls around the park while Baby H sat peacefully in her stroller and later looking on while she snoozed sweetly in her crib. I’d put her in a carrier and grab coffee or lunch with friends. I mean, I knew it would be a lot of work, but I was sure I could handle it
How naive. And like her…this is what it really ended up being:
No one tells you that “maternity leave” is actually code for “watch a whole lot of tv while baby snoozes on you.” In the early newborn days, she slept and slept and slept. On top of me. So many of my days were filled with laying in bed watching movies on my iPad, or laying on the couch watching tv. I learned to successfully eat meals while she was laying there, write blog posts, do some online shopping, etc. But, at the end of the day, it was a whole lot of laying around. Looking back on it, I probably could have taken those leisurely trips out and about with her, but I was always too scared to venture too far out.
I watched ALL 7 seasons of Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix. Do you know how much tv that is???? More than I’ve probably watched all year ha ha.
And this paragraph on breastfedding. SO. TRUE.
In addition to the massive amounts of sleeping, baby is eating. All. the. time. I think most days I could have not worn a shirt and it would have been totally appropriate because it was a non-stop breastfeeding party. For about the first 6 weeks, I found breastfeeding stressful. Now I love it because it’s so easy and there’s no bottle to warm up or wash! However, the first week I was so exhausted and stressed I prayed that we would need to start her on formula. Crazy, right? But at the time I couldn’t fathom nursing being something that I would actually enjoy. Now that I’m back at work, it’s definitely a sweet, special time that we share together.
I remember in the beginning waking up in the middle of the night in tears because breastfeeding was so frustrating (and painful) and I just wanted to use formula. I kept thinking…is formula that bad?? Thanks to boyrobot I forged on and now it’s so easy and enjoyable! It really is a special time that only mother and child can share. Sometimes I get stressed out that Emma is so dependent on ONLY me for her feedings but overall I love it. Note to all those future mothers out there make sure you give the bottle early enough along with bfing so dads can share in the responsibility of feeding too! Anyways, I do think it’s cool that my own body alone can provide enough nutrients for Emma to survive. Pretty crazy!
Anyways…I could keep pasting from her article but I won’t…but I totally felt the rest of it: resentment towards husband, not feeling like yourself, horrified with how my body may never be the same again, and experiencing the awe-inspiring love that develops towards your own child. Communication with boyrobot has helped so much with any problems I felt with being overwhelmed with the responsibility of being a new mom and his help to give me some of my own time has made me feel so much better and more my old self again. I’m a little under 10lbs away from my original weight and still unsure if my tummy pooch will ever go away but bfing seems to continue to help me lose weight while doing nothing so I hope that continues!
Lastly, I leave you with this quote by Cup of Jo which is so accurate as well:
new motherhood was like traveling abroad. You’re tired and jetlagged, and you haven’t showered and you have a cramp in your neck and you’re sort of inexplicably sticky, but then you look around and the world feels beautiful and otherworldly and you’re glad you came.
Posted: 3 August, 2012 in Personal.