Comment from Hakushaku
Posted: June 27, 2008 at 9:05 am

This has got to be the worst advice I have ever heard.

What, do we live in my little pony land where we should only talk about sugar gumdrops and happy happy fun times?

A) First of all, the only people in the world worth half a damn are negative people. If you look outside your goddamn window and get a positive feeling, youre either an idiot, a masochist, or high on mescaline. Or all three, in which case email me and we can get drinks.

The world is a piece of shit, and so are 95% of its inhabitants, so perky people are just fooling themselves. You think Van Gogh or Mahler or Hunter S. Thompson were positive fellows? Van Gogh was batshit crazy, Mahler was so depressing just listening to him talk made you heavier, and Hunster S. Thompson….well, I only bring him up cause I mentioned mescaline earlier. But all the great geniuses and artists in history have been depressing assholes, with the exception of the late great Bob Ross and his happy trees and bushes.

And whats this last part??? Avoid negative sources of information? Where have I heard that before…..ahhh, thats right! The motto of FOX NEWS! Avoiding negative information is how we got into the war in Iraq. and why Bush is such an epic failure.

B) Trust yourself? Sure, who doesn’t like a confident fellow! But trust your confidences only if you like knives inserted into your back (and if so, again, Email me). No matter how great your friends are, in the end, they always have to look out for number one, my dear. Or they just might get really drunk and suddenly find your secrets really amusing and want to share.

You know I’m your biggest fan, Girlrobot. But even I would seriously consider selling you out right now, if someone offered me, say, a really crispy Proscuitto panino on focaccia bread. The proscuitto would have to be the prettty lean, though, and maybe a touch of olive oil and rosemary, and grilled. But that would do it. And who could blame me?

Trust no one!

C) Haha, well I loathe my career, so that doesnt factor into much, and I’m not quite sure what “social responsibilities” are. Preventing communicable disease? Stopping communist invasions? If so, I’m starting to feel guilty about the syphilitic leper with the russian accent I let into the building earlier.

D) Dare to be unique and creative…..as long as you keep thinking happy thoughts and avoid cold pricklies, eh? A and D are mutually exclusive.

E) I live everyday assuming there IS no tomorrow, which doesn’t bode well for my credit card bill or growing list of felonies. But I think a more prudent attitude is “live everyday as if tomorrow is going to be shitty……cause it very probably will be!” Now thats a phrase you can take to the bank!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to take a 6 hour test today, which might explain my pissy mood.

To hell with happy people.