I’m still in search of Season 1 of The Office. Can whoever is renting it from the Blockbuster on Pico please return it already!!!

Until then, here are some funny quotes from the show:

[During a “Diversity Day” exercise; Angela is wearing a sign on her forehead that says “Jamaican.”]
Kevin: Hey.
Angela: Hey.
Kevin: You wanna go to the beach?
Angela: Sure.
Kevin: You wanna get high?
Angela: No.
Kevin: I think you do, mon.

Oscar: Both my parents were born in Mexico, and they moved to the United States a year before I was born, so I grew up in the United States… my parents were Mexican.

Michael Scott: Wow, that is a great story. That’s the American dream right there, right? Um, let me ask you, is there a term besides ‘Mexican’ that you prefer? Something less offensive?

Dwight Schrute: Studies show that more information is passed through watercooler gossip than through official memos, which puts me at a disadvantage because
[picks up water bottle]
Dwight Schrute: I bring my own water to work.

Dwight Schrute: The purse girl hits everything on my checklist: creamy skin, straight teeth, curly hair, amazing breasts. Not for me… for my children. The Schrutes produce very thirsty babies.

[Michael attempts to assemble a basketball team and Oscar, of Mexican descent, approaches]
Oscar: I can play, if you need any help.

Michael Scott: I will use your talents come baseball season, my friend. Or if we ever decide to box.

Michael Scott: Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he’s really not a part of our family. Also, he’s divorced, so he’s really not a part of his family.

Michael Scott: Would I rather be feared or loved? Um… Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

Michael Scott: You may look around, and see two groups here. White collar, blue collar. But I don’t see it that way. You know why not? Because I am collar-blind.