Comment from Hakushaku
Posted: September 13, 2008 at 9:28 am

Hahahahaha, oh man. Oh MAN!

I needed a good laugh today, and that third link provided it. That is the funniest thing I’ve seen all week…….and that’s saying a lot, since I had a client this week who was being sued for impersonating a ghost.

1) “Most Atheists are highly intelligent — probably have an education — and have spent a lot of time thinking about reasons TO believe.”

I love how they can say that without a trace of irony! Yeah, we do have an unfortunate habit of “reasoning” things, its a loathsome habit stemming from all that education and intelligence.

2) “If your friend feels comfortable with it, pray aloud”

He doesn’t. Trust me.

3) “Discuss that human brains work with much more than just intellect and logic and that when things go beyond our capability to understand then having faith in something larger than natural processes can bring extreme peace. Maybe it’s not the answer, but it is peace, and peace in itself is a huge reward, a great return for faith”

Ahem, translation: Thinking too much hurts! Don’t try to think through things that you don’t understand, just sit back and relax and assume god did it! Sure its not the real answer, but it beats thinkin’! Have some lemonade. Bliss is a great return for ignorance!

4) “Go slowly about all of this until your friend is completely comfortable and accepts your inputs, and thinks of you as a “real friend”

hahahahha a “real friend,” in quotes no less! And just when he thinks your friendship is “real,” that’s when you strike like a rabid monkey, and bury him in dogma and poorly thought out logic!

5) “Try to avoid intellectual debates with atheists; these typically devolve into tit-for-tat arguments about politics or some other subject that is rather trivial in light of eternity.”

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

6) “Consider this, When asked how the universe was created, many atheists say “The big bang”, but the big bang created the contents of the universe, not the universe itself. Even science says the universe has not always existed. Therefore it must have been created by something outside the universe. And what caused the big bang?”

Ahhhhhh, my favorite old cannard! The universe can’t have always existed, it must have been created by a force OUTSIDE the universe; by your own logic, everything has to have a cause, Athiest! Someone must have CREATED the big bang! Who you ask?

Why a giant invisible superbeing who has always existed and has no cause. Check and mate, Athiest! Boo-yah!

7) “Also trying to take moral high ground would be bad when they most likely will be able to point out many seemingly immoral things in the bible.”

Haha, oh those goofy heathens, always just “reading” the bible, and not “understanding it.” Its only “seemingly” immoral when God sends down 2 bears to rip apart 42 children for calling Elisha bald (2 Kings 2:23-25). That’s a metaphor, teaching…..ahh, people….not to, you know…….insult the bald. Under pain of death…..by bears.

Silly Athiest, Trix are for kids!….and bears, actually. Bears are for kids.

(I always wondered what Elisha was thinking during the bear-massacre. “Ahhh, whose bald now, bitches! At least I have still have my scalp and limbs!”)

8) “Always remember that you are not God. You just work for Him.”

I always have a soft spot for any religion that needs to remind followers that they are not the worshipped deity in question.

Grazie, tesoro, that was just the thing I needed.

I’ll see you in Hell. I’m in Pirahna room 2-B

Comment from Hakushaku
Posted: September 13, 2008 at 9:29 am

Btw, that tip of the tongue website is awesome. Now if I could only do that for song melodies!

Comment from Hakushaku
Posted: September 13, 2008 at 9:36 am

Pfff, that first poster spelled Atheist wrong throughout his whole post! What a tool.