Ok I lied. The next time I posted wouldn’t be when I’m a Mrs. (that’s still weird to say!) I decided to write one more time before I gave up my singledom forever!

There is so much to say, I don’t even know where to start. It’s been almost 2 years now since I first got engaged. I remember when people told me that planning a wedding was a rite of passage. BOY ARE THEY RIGHT! The past two years have been some of the most stressful and tumultuous times of my life. They were filled with frustrations and tears but also laughter and comfort.

To be honest, it wasn’t easy dealing with a traditional mother, a groomzilla, and myself. I had to mold three people’s visions of our wedding into one and I’m a total people pleaser. So yeah lesson learned: You can’t please everyone. I think we did ok though. It might not be the perfect wedding but I hope people notice how much thought and care went into our wedding. Well, actually they probably won’t but that’s ok. If anything, it should be a representation of ourselves. I even managed to sneak in some robots. :)

Throughout this process, I definitely learned a lot about myself and about boyrobot. I learned how crabby I am when I don’t get enough sleep and am stressed out. And I learned that boyrobot can totally deal with me at my worst and me with him at his worst. It’s just a really good feeling to have. Unconditional love!

Meanwhile, my mom has actually been pretty great about the whole wedding. Well 90% great and 10% ugh, but that’s much better than I thought it would be. I think I was always expecting the worst so actually I would overreact sometimes and realize it wasn’t even a big deal! My mom truly wants me to be happy but also respect our culture and traditions. I can dig that. But sometimes it was very hard. So yes, I will be changing dresses 3 times during the reception. And wearing the donut hat. Fun times.

Besides boyrobot being my rock throughout the whole ordeal, I have to give so much thanks to the rest of my family and bridal party. You would not believe the kinds of help we’ve received. I don’t think this day would have been possible without these people. Can I just give a quick shoutout?

My family
Mom – always listening, helping, and suggesting. and most importantly being more understanding than I thought she was capable of. she also altered all of my dresses including my wedding dress. an amazing and talented women my mama is!
Dad – my dad is always on my side and my biggest supporter. when I can’t communicate with my mom he tries to explain her side so I can understand where she is coming from or will argue with my mom for me when I can’t explain to her what I want/mean.
My sister in seattle (Q) – My all around go to wedding person. Endless suggestions and inspiration. She is even doing the decorating for my wedding cake and is my stand-in day of coordinator! She makes me feel very inadequate as a sister. I was like 0% help during her wedding…but now I know better. Can we have a do-over??
My sister in oklahoma (T) – This is the sister that can’t come to my wedding. I. Was. So. Sad. She’s my oldest sister and like my dad always my biggest supporter. Even though she was far away, she was constantly sending me msges and emails with wedding help. I will really miss her on the big day!
My brother (D) – My brother is pretty awesome. A lot of the super creative stuff you’ll see..all him. Pretty amazing how creative he is.
My relatives (especially aunts and cousins) – they’re doing ALL of my flowers…this stuff is hard work! I’ll be forever grateful for their help!

I have a really, really wonderful family. They can be annoying :) but overall they’re the best people I know. I am definitely who I am today because of them. They have been great role models for me. I aspire to be each of them in some small way. Love you guys!!!

Next up…the best bridal party ever.
From ring pillows, to card boxes, to veils, to making the ceremony fans, to videotaping our videos (ok, I can’t list everything because the list would be too long but you get the idea)….my bridal party was an endless sea of help. And believe me, not all of our tasks were fun. I constantly got emails asking me if I needed any help to the point where I could not think of anything else to have them do! Oh yeah, and my bridesmaids pretty much threw me the best bridal shower ever. This experience has truly taught me what it means to be a good friend. I feel like the past two years I’ve been so busy with this wedding and myself that I probably haven’t been the greatest friend. No complaints from anyone but something I feel. I can’t wait til after this wedding. I’m inspired to be the bestest friend ever. especially to these wonderful people!

Ok, I think it’s time to return back to boyrobot. I mean he’s the reason all of this hoopla is going on right? One day he decided that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with lil ole me. And that day I decided I did too. This experience has reaffirmed this for me. The scariest part for me will probably be when we exchange our handwritten vows. I’m kind of disappointed in mine. I’m sorry but I’m just not a good writer. And the fact that all of our friends and family will be there listening to my deepest feelings for boyrobot, well that is really nervewracking. I tried to write my vows as sincere and truthful as possible, but many times I kept erasing what I wrote because it seriously sounded like it was from some really bad romantic comedy. It even made me gag. But it’s true. Since the beginning of our relationship, I felt like I was in a really cheesy, but wonderful movie. Since I left out most of the cheese in my vows, I thought I would post some of my thoughts here since even though I can’t express them in front of real live people…I have no problems doing it hiding behind a computer screen. :)

These are excerpts from my private journal circa 2004-5 when boyrobot and I first started dating. NEVER BEFORE SEEN!

“How do you know when you’ve met your soulmate?”
“It’s like applejacks, you just do.”

Where do I start? When exactly was the beginning..?

Do I start at the point I moved in next door to him? We lived next door for two years and rarely even talked…

We were attending the same college and majoring in the same field. My roommate went to high school with him.

My other roommate was his good friend. They always studied together. We actually had a lot of mutual friends.

Now we work at the same company. It’s like we had so many chances, and finally it’s coming together. Or is it?

This is my crazy journey into finding out if he is “the one”. I know he’s special, I just don’t know how much. And I don’t know if I’m even ready to find my “one”.

he has the X FACTOR: I feel safe when I am with him and don’t want to go anywhere because anywhere else just wouldn’t feel as good. I feel lucky and happy and proud to have scored someone of this caliber. I think of everyone I have ever met in my lifetime and realize that nobody compares. In fact, it’s not even close. I just want to keep doing things to make him happy, because when he’s happy I’m happy. he is my favoritest person.

I think I’ve fallen in love. I think this is what love is supposed to feel like. This is what I imagine it to feel like. So exciting! I am glad I could experience this and feel so lucky to be able to experience it. So many people go through life without this luxury. I am sosososo thankful. Whatever happens, I must remember today, feeling this, knowing this. It might one day change. I don’t know…but I do know at one moment it was perfect.

never before have i made myself feel so vulnerable and never before have i felt that it would be so worth it.

whatever happens a month from now, a year from now, or 10 i will have this feeling to cherish and know that i was so lucky to experience this. whatever bad that comes i will know and remember it was all worth it.

Ok, I’m sorry if after reading this that you see me in a new light. You know when you read things you wrote years ago and it’s pretty embarassing. Well this was 10 times worse doncha think?

But even though reading some of those things makes me cringe. It also makes me smile. Because I truly remember how I felt when I wrote those words and it was truly unlike anything I’ve experienced before. I feel so lucky that amongst some billions of people in the world and through a series of unlikely events we were able to find each other. It blows my mind.

So here’s to Saturday. No matter what happens or what goes wrong. It will be ok. Because at the end of the day, what’s most important will have happened – I will have married my best friend. This time for reals…see you on the other side.

The future Mrs. Boyrobot!