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January 2008



Happy: I’m Engaged; Sad: Planning A Wedding

For everybody who doesn’t know yet, I’m engaged! Believe me, I feel so happy and lucky to get to share a future with boyrobot. I can’t wait! But there is one thing I’m sorely dreading, and that is the actual wedding. Most girls can’t wait to plan this day but for me, there are a million and one things I would rather do than wear a dress and makeup and be the center of attention. In fact, every time I think about it I get really agitated and stressed!

Other things that make weddings really annoying are that my parents are uber traditional. It’s so funny because when I talk to them they think they are so carefree and we’re so lucky that they aren’t enforcing all of these rules that were so important back in the day. But still, there are tons of other rules that we definitely have to follow. I have a deep respect for my culture and background and everything but to be honest I was born in America and am very americanized. A lot of the traditions aren’t what I envisioned my future wedding day to include but because I care about making my parents happy, I will do them. This includes wearing the vietnamese wedding dress (not the white one everybody else wears!) while walking down the aisle. Sad!

Also, my parents are hardcore buddhists so I will most definitely be having some type of “temple” wedding where a monk will reside the ceremony. So this means I’m limited in where I can have my wedding. I’m not even sure how the whole “walking down the aisle” part goes in a traditional buddhist wedding. And even though I’m buddhist by association, I don’t really personally practice it or anything. It has no meaning to me. But don’t tell my parents that! Sigh.

For the reception, my parents expect that I have a viet/english speaking emcee. I have horrible visions of a cheesy, fobby viet person dictating my wedding while new wave music is playing in the background.

Lastly, I predict seeing a lot of red on my wedding day. Red is considered a lucky color. My wedding dress, the ceremony decorations, etc…will be red. I hate red.

There are a million reasons why I don’t want to have a wedding. You don’t even know! :( :( :(

Boyrobot tells me that it’s just 1 day. I keep telling myself that. I can’t believe that “1 day” can make me feel so much distress!


Comment from Louise
Posted: January 2, 2008 at 4:11 pm

Congrats! Haha, I know all about uber-strict parents, but I would probably prefer a Chinese wedding to a westernized one. That whole marching down the aisle in a white dress in church thing would make me uncomfortable. Plus, Chinese wedding receptions are a lot funner than western ones IMO.

Comment from Scott
Posted: January 2, 2008 at 4:21 pm

Congratulations! My family has gone through a couple weddings in the past couple years; my sister in ’05 and then my brother this past summer.

The perfect solution for you: ELOPE!

In all seriousness, I hope the joy of the occasion overcomes the stress in the end so that you can be utterly happy on said wonderful day =)

Comment from Rebecca
Posted: January 2, 2008 at 4:22 pm


I got married in April of 2006. There were so fun things about planning the wedding, but for the most part I didn’t enjoy it. There were some “details” I had to give my input on. (Like the order of the service, etc.)

But I did not do a single thing related to reception centerpieces for example… except to provide a piece of ribbon the approximate color of my bridesmaid’s dresses.

Actually, it would have been fine with me if we’d not had any stinkin’ centerpieces. :)

So, hang in there, have as short an engagement as you can manage, and remember… it is ONE day. The important thing is the marriage, not the wedding.

Good luck!

Comment from che
Posted: January 2, 2008 at 4:59 pm

aaww, you sound so upset about the wedding! everything seems to be how you don’t want it, hehe… but i can understand how you’re feeling. i’m with the other guy… just elope! lol jk :) even though i always joke about that w/ alvin… eloping is worry-free and requires no planning, haha! luckily, i think ive convinced my parents to finally accept a nice vegas wedding so im closer to having a less stressful wedding, lol :) but no, im not engaged yet… just prepping them for the future ;)

but congratulations again! hang in there :D

Comment from girlrobot
Posted: January 2, 2008 at 5:27 pm

thanks for the words of advice! if i could elope, believe me, i would! hehe

Comment from Sweet Posie
Posted: January 2, 2008 at 6:33 pm

Hang in there sis! We are all here for you. Let us know what we can do to ease your stress and pain. We love you and are so happy that boyrobot is joining the family. :)

Comment from yvonne
Posted: January 3, 2008 at 1:09 am

First off, congratulations!! And I understand what it means to be draped in tradition…but remember…if you elope, you don’t get the reception…and without the reception, you don’t get presents. So grin and bear it, and fill your registry with lots of nifty gadgets.

Comment from Braden
Posted: January 3, 2008 at 3:38 am

Congratulations! :)

Comment from RiSE
Posted: January 3, 2008 at 6:51 am

Isn’t there some type of hybrid wedding out there Vietnamese/American style so you can get a little of what you want and a little of what your parents want. What does boyrobot and his family want.

Comment from Kristen
Posted: January 3, 2008 at 8:39 pm

OMG! Last time I saw you in a dress with makeup was prom. =) I am so excited for you! I agree with RiSE. What do YOU want? If you pout and whine enough, your parents will give in. Tears help too.

Comment from Sheryl
Posted: January 3, 2008 at 9:12 pm


Having just gone through my brother’s wedding (a Filipino-Vietnamese wedding!), I totally understand how daunting and stressful planning a wedding can be, especially when you have lots of people who want very different things from what you want. Is there any way you can talk to your parents and try to reach some kind of middle ground? Good luck with the planning!

Comment from jill
Posted: January 4, 2008 at 5:52 am

just get through it –its the marriage that counts anyway, not the wedding. ours was super simple and i couldnt be happier… if its that big of a deal to you, plan your own private ceremony the day of or during your honeymoon– find a nice white sundress and assuming you’ll be going somewhere warm? say your vows on the beach… at dawn, or sunset.. just you and your hubby… or if you’re planning on an inland honeymoon, call the convention and visitors bureau and see if there’s a romantic you can talk to that might suggest a covered bridge, a pond with a large tree to stand under, a park with beautiful flowering trees..etc.. if you havent already, i would encourage you to create a group for those planning weddings during blog 365… you may have more company than you think..

Comment from Diane J Standiford
Posted: January 4, 2008 at 8:34 pm

Ever watch Grey’s Anatomy? Oh? Good Luck, this wedding is your gift to Mother and Father.

Comment from Hakushaku
Posted: January 5, 2008 at 11:58 am

Jeez-o-man, thats a lot of comments! If I had known that being engaged nets you that many eprops, I would have gotten married years ago.

But yes yes, Congratulations and all that, even though I congratulated you months ago, since unlike all your internet stalkers, I actually know your true identity!

I’m in the same predicament with your “boyrobot” (I’m having a hard time using all these codenames with a straight face). Miki is absolutely deadset against a wedding of any kind, A) because of the heinous planning it involves, B) her father has promised to try out his nascent Accordian skillz at the wedding, and C) probably because it reminds the world that she married a swarthy asshole from barbarian lands.

I just want a wedding as an excuse to get my family over to the village, we could have the ceremony in the bathroom of an Arbys for all I care.

But I definitely think you can’t let your parents push you around on this one. You gotta learn the art of compromise, do a few of their less odious requests, but temper them with your own. Tit for Tat. They want you to wear the red dress, then they have to agree to cancel the chicken plucking ceremony, or whatever. This is supposed to be YOUR day, after all.

Comment from yangbot
Posted: January 5, 2008 at 10:59 pm

I don’t like the idea of wedding planning either. Trang did a buddhist wedding, I think. It was confusing. My parents are buddhist by default and they don’t even want to do the buddhist ceremony, haha.

I think the important things are: bride/groom, friends/family, booze and a good photographer to remember the night! heck, the photographer can make a dingy place look pretty pimp with some touch-ups :)