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June 2008



Brain Dump Mondays: Raccoon Attack

If you’ve been reading my comments, you’ll see mentioned a certain incident involving a raccoon attack that I witnessed this weekend. It was the highlight of my week. I have never in my life seen a raccoon try to jump through a window into a house before but that’s what happened! We were sitting in my friend Andy’s house playing yet another game of Puerto Rico when we hear a tap tap tapping noise near the window. We all turned around to see what it was. I figured it was one of Andy’s friends playing a practical joke on us but I keep hearing the rattling noise and suddenly I see some grey looking thing trying to jump through the window. Andy’s wife, Kim, screams and Andy jumps up to the window and UPPERCUTS THE RACCOON through the window. It was awesome.

Meanwhile boyrobot is like “It’s a bat!!!!” and I’m like “no…it’s a bird!!” and Andy was like “NOOO it was a raccoon”.

I’ll trust Andy on this one since he was the closest to it.

Anyways, it was really hilarious. It all happened so fast that I didn’t even get a chance to react to it. I just remember thinking “wtf is that!!!” while all of this commotion was going on.

It was pretty freaky. What kind of raccoon tries to jump into a house through the window? It was pretty dumb because it kept trying to get in too.

I also realized that Andy HAS NO FEAR. Even though I didn’t scream, I was a little jumpy afterwards and you should have seen how freaked out Kim and boyrobot were! Andy was just WHATEVER and not in the least bit shaken up like the rest of us. He said “I don’t get scared” and man, I believe him. I have never seen a guy run up to the face of danger and punch it like that. From now on Andy will be known to me as the MAN WITH NO FEAR.


Comment from Hakushaku
Posted: June 2, 2008 at 9:34 am

Oh come on! I bust my hump on this site every week, trying to think of sassy ways to insult you and your subscribers, and ANDY gets the cool nickname!

Sure, he will uppercut racoons through glass, like some kind of secret Street Fighter II move.

And sure, he turned the rat infestation in our apartment into a scene of horror, bloodshed, and corpse trophies like something out of the Ugandan civil war.

And yes, he did run out of our apartment in only his underwear to chase and curse at the police officers towing away his truck for the 58 unpaid parking tickets…..

Ok, so maybe he does SEEM to be fearless. But I got one word for you: Bees.

Try playing your game of “Puerto Rico” or “Guam” or whatever U.S. territory simulator you people play, when there is an errant lone bee in the room, and see how bold the mighty Arab truly is!

Comment from AxsDeny
Posted: June 2, 2008 at 4:20 pm

Were you guys close to the window? Generally a raccoon won’t enter a noisy place occupied by humans.

The only raccoons (or any other animal for that matter) that do that are rabid or on the run from the long arm of the law. Perhaps this was a fugitive raccoon!

Comment from KimZaky
Posted: June 2, 2008 at 5:27 pm

See! I told you it was a rabid animal. We are lucky to be alive. No sane animal would try to jump through a closed window multiple times.

Comment from KimZaky
Posted: June 2, 2008 at 5:30 pm

Oh and yes. The only time I have ever heard Andy scream like a little girl was in London. There was indeed a lone bee that was flying around his face. So very true- The Arab no like the Bees!

Comment from suki
Posted: June 2, 2008 at 6:11 pm

Thankfully I live two stories up. No raccoons are jumping up here.

Comment from Maureen
Posted: June 2, 2008 at 9:16 pm

The first thing I thought of was that the raccoon was seriously rabid to behave that way. If I were you, I’d notify animal control just to let them know in case they have any incidents of raccoons biting humans in that neck of the woods. Creepy!
Major props to Andy for getting his Chuck Norris on and saving his homies from that crazy, crack-smokin’ raccoon!

Comment from che
Posted: June 3, 2008 at 10:24 am

poor raccoon… lol j/k! raccoons are pretty smart creatures. i think it was actually trying to break in through the window! like a cat burglar… or raccoon burglar, haha

Comment from Non-crazy Arab Andy
Posted: June 3, 2008 at 6:26 pm

This Andy guy sounds like one WICKED human being. I am glad I share the name.

Comment from Kim Zaky
Posted: June 3, 2008 at 8:43 pm

I love how Non-Arab Andy goes by Non-crazy Arab Andy. I laugh every time I read. Poor guy. He does all the commenting but has to distinguish himself from the Andy who doesn’t ever even blog anymore. If I had the same name as my hubby I would FO SHO want people to know that I would be the Non-Crazy-Jap Andy haha! I wouldn’t want to be confused with the guy who battles rabid rats and animals and curses at random people. I am tremendously tired sorry for the rambling.

Pingback from Mid-Week Round-Up: this + that | Los Angeles Metblogs
Posted: June 4, 2008 at 12:03 pm

[…] What do robots do for fun? Raccoon attack! […]